Empathy. Strength or weakness?

Colon cancer.

Tonight as I sat listening to Kary Oberbrunner talk about the Kingdom of God, he told a story about a man, Mark Palmer, who died of colon cancer.

As soon as those two words left his lips, my stomach knotted.

Empathy. Strength or weakness?

About 8 months ago one of my favorites called as I was just arriving at a summer party. "I am following my dad to the ER. Pray."

My stomach was instantly in knots. My appetite was gone. I literally felt sick.

I gathered my friends in a circle, and we prayed. I knew the situation wasn't good, but I absolutely believed God could heal my favorite's dad.

Colon cancer.

It spread. FAST.

Stomach in knots.

Empathy. Strength or weakness?

My favorite's dad fought the cancer for about 7 weeks. Then he went to be with Jesus.

God didn't heal my favorite's dad, but I absolutely believe He is capable of healing...if it's in His plans. Did I want my favorite's dad to be healed? Of course! But I trust that God knows better than I know. He IS my creator. Kary says that life is about advancing God's kingdom rather than our own selfish kingdoms. Jesus said that too. "I must preach the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns also, because that is why I was sent." (Luke 4:43) Maybe my favorite's dad had fulfilled God's purposes here. Maybe my favorite's dad had advanced God's kingdom enough, so He called him to rest. I bet God said something like, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

There were many at the funeral. My favorite read a profound journal entry about his dad and lead worship through song. Heavyhearted, but joyous.

As I write, my stomach knots. I'm instantly brought back to that day I received the phone call. The 7 week journey walking alongside of one of my favorites feeling helpless. I hear those two words.

Colon Cancer.

Stomach in knots.

Empathy. Strength or weakness?

According to the StrengthsFinder, empathy, the ability to sense and understand someone else's feelings as if they were one's own, is a strength of mine.

Sometimes I wonder...strength?...or weakness?