I want you to think about yourself today.

I want you to think about yourself today.

One of my favorites who lives far away rescued me the other morning. Through tears, I shared my most recent struggle with her, and she spoke words of comfort and truth.

I want you to think about yourself today.

What? I always think about myself. Remember? I'm selfish. I want this. I need that. Me first.

I am very good at thinking about myself. True. BUT I also work really hard in relationships, and thrive on serving others, especially my favorites. There is a good chance that if you are one of my favorites, I will think of you before myself. I will put your desires before mine. I will put your needs before my needs. You first.

If you are sick, I want to bring you pepto bismol.
If you are sad, I want to hug you until the tears are gone.
If you are discouraged, I want to snap my fingers and make your dreams happen.
If you are frustrated, I want to make you laugh.
If you are confused, I want to take a quick trip to see the Big Guy to get the answer.
The list goes on.

Great, right?!

Yes, if you are one of my favorites. BUT sometimes I work harder in relationships than I should...not to my favorites fault at all...but because of the way I am wired. My far away favorite is helping me realize that this could be a problem. I put so much effort into relationships, I often forget about my own desires...my own needs. I sacrifice sleep...nutritious meals...exercise...quiet time...solitude...hobbies...etc. AND even worse I play God by trying to fulfill the desires or needs of my favorites that only He can fulfill.

Rather than this...

Balance.

I'm working on finding a balance. My favorites are...well...a favorite part of my life. I will continue to work hard in my relationships with them. I will continue to love them. I will continue to sacrifice for them. BUT I will let God do His part and I will take on the challenge of my far away favorite...

I want you to think about yourself today. Make a list of things YOU want to do that you haven't been able to do.

Here is my proof, far away favorite!

A Short To Do List (because I am thinking about myself today)

Learn conversational Spanish
Take a dance class
Learn to play the guitar
Run a 5K
Rock climb
Learn more about my digital camera and take sweet pics
Fast weekly for the summer
Spend a weekend at a cabin with my favorite :)

Octopus

I shared my bag of sour octopus with two of my favorites the other day.

Selfish? NO

Self-sacrificial? Not quite, considering the whole bag would have hyped me up on sugar so bad that I wouldn't sleep for days...so in all honesty, it was probably necessary to share, although I could have chosen to hord them all for myself. I did, in fact, feel quite free after I offered the last octopus to my favorites. Ironically, neither one would take it.

I'm a work in progress.

See post from April titled "Self..." if this makes no sense to you.

Self...

Selfishness. Self-sacrifice.

Two totally different words with totally opposite meanings.

Selfishness. Concerned about self. Interested in self. Placing one's own needs or desires in front of other's needs or desires.

Self-sacrifice. Concerned about others. Interested in others. Sacrifice of oneself or one's own interests for the benefit of others.

One of my favorites and I sat at a coffee shop tonight talking about these two words. Selfishness...and...self-sacrifice. We both acknowledged that we are really good at the first one.

It's MY turn to shower and she is messing up MY routine. I always shower at 7 am.
Let her borrow MY necklace? What if she loses it? or breaks it?

We are selfish with our time and our things.

We have some friends that are really good at self-sacrifice.

You're cold? Here, take MY jacket.
I'll eat last in case there isn't enough food.

My favorite and I acknowledged that we should take notes from our friends and work on being less selfish and more self-sacrificial.

Interestingly enough, tonight we had our chance.

When I called one of my other favorites, he seemed to need some encouragement. Hard day.

What part of self came out at this point?

He's sad. I don't want to him to be sad. What can I do to bring him joy? I immediately began mentally planning for a late night. No question. If he needed encouragement my sleep would wait...all night if it needed to.

So maybe I'm a little bit hard on myself...but it's pretty easy to be self-sacrificial with my favorites.

I'm going to try to be more aware of what part of self comes out more often. Not only to my favorites, but to all those around me. I'm going to try to be more like my self-sacrificing friends. Less about me. More about others. I'm going to try to be more like my friend, Jesus.

“Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross!” Philippians 2:6 - 7