Learn How to Rest - Sincerely, GOD

1.31.11

I began 2011 feeling a heavy burden. As I reflected on the past 3 ½ years, I realized how formative these years were for my Christian life. Formative in a sense in which I felt as if I had been constantly challenged to grow, become better, do more…constantly stretched beyond myself. As I drove with my friend, Jeff, on New Year’s Day), I was overwhelmingly desiring a break from God’s challenges. “I’m tired of being challenged. I’m weary from always trying to better myself…to do good. I just want a break God.”

The next day my pastor spoke about character…the character that gets us through the storms of life. He showed us a video called “God’s Chisel” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhfUzodLRvk), which is a creative skit portraying what it’s like for a typical believer to go through the process of discipline…to be chiseled into God’s masterpiece. We fight it. We make excuses for our less than Christlike character. We’d rather control our circumstances than put them in God’s hands. BUT really, we know that letting God forge our character and letting God control our circumstances leads to abundant life. The video showed me that God loves me too much to leave me where I’m at…indeed, a Father disciplines the ones He loves.

So I thought to myself, “Maybe asking God for a break is trying to control Him.” Instead of allowing Him to chisel away at those impurities that prevent me from showing His character…instead of allowing him to stretch and challenge me in my ways…I was asking Him to just leave me where I’m at.

Because Jeff and I had talked about this idea of desiring a break the day before, I texted him my thoughts about my request being another way for me to control God (I have a track record of trying to be the one in control). His response was this: “Maybe. Depends. You seem to be someone who is more likely to use business as control, not rest. I bet you might be scared of rest.”

So…taking a break = REST? At first, I brushed the idea aside. “I’m not afraid of rest.” BUT…there I was dreading my soon-to-be trip to Seattle to see my BEST friend, Heather. I couldn’t figure out why I was not excited to go…we always had amazing times together. It’s so interesting how God always has everything planned out perfectly and uses circumstances to teach us about ourselves and Him. As I continued to think about the trip and this idea of being fearful of rest, I realized that I was not excited to go because I knew that I would be stuck in Heather’s apartment for a whole week…alone…while she worked during the day. I was going to be forced to REST! “I am, indeed, afraid of rest.” Jeff was right.

In asking God for a break, I was really asking God for rest. I just didn’t know it. Really, my original thoughts led down this path: “I want to be free from being challenged…to be free from being stretched. I’m tired of working so hard. I’m tired of striving to be good…to be right. I’ll never be good enough and I’m tired of constantly feeling challenged”. For a few days, I was frustrated with God for chiseling me, and just wanted freedom from the burden I was feeling. I just wanted freedom to be me. The great thing is that I learned through this process that I CAN JUST BE ME! In fact, God wants me to just be me. He doesn’t want me to fight His work in my life…His discipline in my life, BUT he wants me to REST IN HIM.

My original desire to take a break may have, indeed, been my way of trying to control God…my way of saying, “I would rather control my circumstances than put them in God’s hand. I would rather stay the same for a while just so I can be comfortable and not worry about doing the right thing. I would rather life be easy for now”. By using my pastor's message, the video, and Jeff, God took that original twisted desire and turned into a godly desire. Now my desire to “take a break” means to learn how to REST in the One who loves me enough to not let me stay the same…the One who will do a good work in and through me. I can be free from striving to be good and right because it is through resting in God that I am good and do right. I can just be me, letting God forge my character and control my circumstances. How abundant life will be just being me.

Below is a quote from a book called “Waiting on God” by Andrew Murray. He sums up my thoughts perfectly.

“Let us think of ourselves, and the inconceivably glorious salvation God has wrought for us in Christ, and is now purposing to work out and to perfect in us by His Spirit. Let us meditate until we somewhat realize that every participation of this great salvation, from moment to moment, must be the work of God Himself. God cannot part with His grace, or goodness, or strength, as an external thing that He gives us, as He gives the raindrops from Heaven. No, He can only give it, and we can only enjoy it, as He works it Himself directly and unceasingly. And the only reason that He does not work it more effectually and continuously is that we do not let Him. We hinder Him either by our indifference or by our self-effort, so that He cannot do what He would. What He asks of us, in the way of surrender, and obedience, and desire, and trust, is all comprised in this word: waiting on Him, waiting for His salvation. It combines the deep sense of our entire helplessness of ourselves to work what is divinely good, and our perfect confidence that our God will work it all in His divine power.” Andrew Murray, “Waiting on God”